The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings tremendous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .

When issues emerge, those official statement who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. you could try these out Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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