The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, Read Full Article chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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