The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. After this article orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Many gay males want to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, see this here though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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