The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Songs navigate to these guys who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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